


and I'll build a home (for you, for me)

by the_crownless_queen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Harry has a home with Sirius and I love that, Hurt/Comfort, Sirius Black is a good godfather, what if Dumbledore hadn't gotten to Harry's trial in OotP and Harry had been expelled.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 11:18:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crownless_queen/pseuds/the_crownless_queen
Summary: In which Dumbledore never showed at Harry's hearing about casting a Patronus, and Harry got expelled. Luckily, Sirius had plenty of room to spare.





	and I'll build a home (for you, for me)

**Author's Note:**

> For Fruits, who asked for something fluffy about Harry and a mother/father figure who isn't James or Lily.

When Harry came back from his hearing at the Ministry and told them he'd been expelled, Sirius hated how happy he felt for a minute—before he realized how dead Harry looked as everyone raged at what had happened to him.

It was a look he had worn more than once himself. It said ' _How can this be happening to me now?'_. He had worn it constantly after James and Lily had died—after Peter had betrayed them.

He knew that no amount of well-wishers would help and that Harry was moments away from imploding—or exploding, perhaps. Lily had been the exploding kind, which so far Harry had seemed to have inherited. Sirius was the imploding kind, as had been James, in a certain measure.

But just because they reacted to shock differently didn't mean that Sirius couldn't predict that if Harry broke here, it wouldn't be pretty.

So he shuffled past everyone, ignoring even Molly's huffs of incensed protest, and drew his godson into a one-armed hug. The way Harry latched onto him instantly was as concerning as it was heartwarming but at least that way everyone let them pass.

They ended up in the room with his family's genealogy. As much as Sirius hated it, it was probably the safest room in this whole damned house and even if the decor grated on his nerves, no one would bother them here.

"I was the first one to hold you, did you know that? Even before your mother," Sirius said. He immediately berated himself, averting his eyes from Harry's and pretending to find his ancestors' tapestry fascinating when in truth he wanted to burn it.

Of course, Harry didn't know that. Who would have ever told him? Who could have, when the people involved were either too dead or imprisoned, or too much of a coward to tell him anything?

_(That was the one thing he would never be able to forgive Remus for: leaving Harry behind like Prongs' son didn't matter to him at all, like_ Prongs  _had meant nothing to him at all._

_Sirius could forgive Remus for anything that had been done to him, for anything that Remus had believed—after all, Sirius was hardly innocent there—but his godson had deserved better. Harry had deserved everything.)_

"Really?" Harry's voice sounded so small and choked up that Sirius nearly cried.

"Yeah," he replied, turning back to face his godson. He forced a smile on his face and rested a hand on Harry's head, ruffling his hair once.

Harry shot him a truly offended look that made Sirius laugh.

"I could, I could tell you about it, if you want?"

" _Please_ ," Harry asked, an urgency in his voice that, despite being entirely heartbreaking, made Sirius smile.

"Well, the first thing you have to know is that James was late—he was always late, except to things he'd planned himself; but as you can imagine, he'd no way to plan for your birth. He was on some case—sensitive work, too, which meant we couldn't just send him an owl or a Patronus—so Lily had St. Mungo's call for me instead."

He let his lips spread into a fond smile, ruffling Harry's hair once before he let the memories submerge him.

" _He's not gonna break, you know," Lily said with a teasing smile. She was lying on her hospital bed but she looked radiant. Her red hair glowed like the dying embers of a winter night's fire, and her emerald eyes burned with the love she held for the small bundle the Mediwitch had pushed into Sirius' arms in order to tend to the new mother._

_The Potions and spells were already acting—Sirius could hardly tell that Lily had given birth mere moments ago. A good night's rest; and even the exhaustion pulling at her face would vanish._

" _But he's so_ small _," Sirius moaned, shifting his grip worriedly to something he thought more secure as Harry curled up against his chest. His tiny hands reached up for Sirius' long black locks, but the hair slipped through his adorable little fists like silk. Sirius' heart melted._

_Lily stared at him knowingly. "He's not that fragile," she repeated kindly. "He should sleep soon anyway, at least according to the Mediwitch."_

_As if on cue, Harry's mouth opened in a wide yawn and his eyes fluttered shut with a happy gurgling sound. His hands drifted to his mouth and he curled up even closer, which seemed impossible and yet was happening right before his eyes._

_Sirius' efforts to fight back his cooing were in vain. Lily saw right through him and laughed._

" _You're gonna be hopeless at this, aren't you?" she sighed fondly, watching them. "You're probably even worse than James is going to be—he was impossible when I was pregnant, I dread to think what he'll be now that Harry's joined us properly."_

_Despite her words, however, Lily's tone was impossibly fond and she couldn't stop smiling._

_Sirius snorted loudly. "Please," he said, rolling his eyes, "we both know Prongs is going to be a hundred times worse about this than I could ever be. He_ cried  _when his_ plants  _died in Herbology, Lily. I can't imagine he'll be anywhere near composed around his son for at least a few years."_

_Lily groaned loudly. "You're right. You're so right. Merlin, he's going to be a nightmare."_

_Sirius laughed. "Well, you knew that when you started dating him. And moved in together. And married him. And had a child with him. And-"_

" _Alright, alright, I get it," Lily said, huffing out a laugh. "No need to keep going."_

" _Good, because I had no idea what I'd be saying next," Sirius admitted._

" _I'm sure you'd have figured something out," Lily replied dryly, which was, Sirius relented, absolutely fair._

" _Touché."_

_For a few moments, the only sounds in the room came from their breathing. Sirius sat down beside Lily's bed quietly._

" _You want to hold him?" he asked, lifting Harry up and toward her a little._

_Lily stared at him like he was mad. "Do I want to hold my baby?" she asked with a truly impressive eyeroll. "I don't know," she drawled sarcastically. "What do you think?"_

_Blushing, Sirius handed Harry to her instantly, carefully deposing him in his mother's arms. Harry immediately curled up against Lily's breasts with a sigh of contentment, and Sirius sat down, arms feeling empty and cold._

_He must have dozed off at some point because he woke up suddenly when James stumbled into the room, out of breath and hair even more in disarray than usual. He had ashy streaks over his faces and his robes were still smoking in some places, but with a couple of quick spells, performed under Lily's unyielding gaze, he became as presentable as he ever got._

_It was fascinating, really, to watch the way James' face physically transformed when his eyes fell on Harry's small body when Lily lifted him out of his crib._

_It was what he imagined experiencing a religious experience would look like. James' eyes looked so full of love that Sirius' throat closed up and he had to turn away for a moment to gather himself._

" _Lily," James was whispering in awe as he knelt at his wife's side, "we made that. We made a small human being. Look at him, Lils, look at how adorable and perfect he is."_

_Lily smiled at him indulgently, though her eyes quickly returned to her son. Her face, too, transformed as she gazed upon the baby, and Sirius idly wondered if his own face had done the same. If his eyes softened like that, if he glowed with a type of joy that couldn't be faked._

_He probably had, considering that his cheeks still hurt from grinning so much earlier._

_James turned to Sirius suddenly, beckoning him closer. "Sirius!" he said, voice still awed, "Look at what Lily and I made! Isn't he perfect?"_

_Sirius' smile widened, if such a thing was even possible. "A little Marauder," Sirius replied. "Of course he's perfect—nothing else he could be."_

_James nodded seriously. Lily smiled at them kindly over his shoulder, Harry in her arms. And then, feeling mischievous, she sat up and handed him to James, who flailed a little even as his arms curled around Harry protectively as if on instinct._

_He looked up at Sirius, terror sharp in his brown eyes._

_Sirius had to bite back a smile at the familiar reaction. "He's not going to break, you know," he said, repeating Lily's earlier words with glee._

_James just stuck out his tongue childishly, though he didn't take his eyes off his child._

_Sirius had a feeling he wouldn't for a while yet._

"James told everyone else I was godfather before he would tell me as payback for holding you before he could," Sirius finished, lips still pulled into a fond smile. "Of course," he added, half laughing, "by then everyone had already told me anyway. Your father wasn't always good at being discreet."

Sirius sighed, fingers pulling at the hems of his sleeves almost nervously. He forced himself to drag his eyes away from the tapestry to look at the boy.

Harry was crying silently, shoulders shaking with grief. The sight pulled at the unhealed wounds in Sirius' heart and he pulled Harry into a hug, patting his back and humming softly as the boy sobbed against his chest.

When Harry finally drew back, sniffling, Sirius conjured him tissues. Harry offered him a tremulous smile as he blew his nose and wiped his glasses clean. It didn't make his eyes any less read or his face any less blotchy, but it did make him feel a little better.

"You okay?" Sirius asked carefully.

Harry nodded long before he answered. It seemed that the words didn't want to come. They stayed stuck in his throat, sirupy like honey, making him choke up when he tried to speak anyway.

"I'm fine," he replied.

"You don't have to lie," Sirius replied kindly. "It's okay not to be 'fine', sometimes—Merlin knows I never am."

Harry gave a wet chuckle as he shook his head. "That's not—it's not… I mean…" He paused, took in a deep, trembling breath. It almost hurt, but Harry forced himself to keep it in, exhale, and then take another one. "It's just, no one had ever told me that kind of stories about them before," he admitted.

It felt shameful, somehow, to admit this. His parents had given their lives for him, and yet, almost half a decade after he'd learned that, Harry still didn't know much about them beyond what they looked like and that his father had been a Quidditch and a prankster.

Sirius swallowed heavily. This was his fault. He should have… he should have known, should have acted. "No one told you anything?"

Harry shrugged. He wasn't sure how to answer that, so he stayed silent.

"Well," Sirius said, swallowing back a nervous sigh, "then you can ask me. I promise I'll tell you anything you want to know."

It was almost ridiculous, the speed at which Harry's eyes snapped up to Sirius' grey orbs. "Really?" he asked. It sounded too good to be true, but Sirius had never given him reason to doubt him. He could be trusted.

"Really." Sirius nodded. "You can ask me anything you want to know about them."

Harry's smile, as it slowly broke over his face, was as radiant as any sunrise.

"What do you say we get back down there now?" Sirius asked with faked casualness.

Harry hesitated, eyes roaming over the tapestry curiously before they were drawn back to Sirius. His hands inched over his pocket, tracing a familiar shape. With a pang, Sirius realized what this had to be: Harry's wand.

"They broke it, didn't they?"

Harry startled. In any other situation, the way he had jumped would have been funny, but here it was just sad. "Yeah," he said, throat tight. "They did."

"I'm sorry," Sirius replied. "I know it hurts."

"How could you know that?" Harry snapped, deflating as soon as the words left his lips. "I'm sorry," he said, jerkingly wiping his eyes again, "I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine. And if you must know, they broke mine a long time ago, when I was sentenced to Azkaban." He pushed back the memories and the cold that crept over his soul, locking them back in the corners of his mind. He smiled wryly. "I have a new wand now, but I still miss my first one."

"... I didn't know," Harry replied, feeling small now. "I'm sorry."

Sirius shrugged, feigning nonchalance he didn't quite feel. "It was a long time ago. I'm fine, you don't need to be sorry."

Harry's jaw set into a familiar determined shape and Sirius almost laughed. "I'm still sorry," the boy said, green eyes blazing. "You didn't deserve it."

"Neither did you," Sirius pointed out. "Guess that makes two of us that the Ministry's screwed over, huh?"

Harry snorted. "Pretty sure there's more than two of us when they refuse to believe me and Dumbledore when we say that Voldemort is back."

Sirius nodded absentmindedly, sighing. "Unfortunately, you're right. Now," he said, looking at Harry, "what do you say we really head back down this time? I'm sure your friends are worried. They've probably even designed half a dozen plans to sneak you into Hogwarts with their luggage."

Sirius knew his attempt at cheering his godson up had failed the instant he said  _Hogwarts_. Harry flinched and his face fell, the dead-eyed look returning and making Sirius' stomach drop.

"Come on, kid," Sirius continued, "things'll work out. And in the meantime? You can stay here with me. Plenty of room in this old house."

Sirius was pleased to see that this notion did put a smile on Harry's face and eased some of the tension off his shoulders.

"You still want me to live with you?"

It took Sirius a moment to realize his godson had even spoken, so lost as he was in his own thoughts.

"There's nothing I'd want more," he promised.

Some of the shadows in Harry's eyes cleared and he squared his shoulders. "Let's go then. I want to see everyone." And he set out to the dining room where everyone was still gathered, no doubt discussing him.

But the thought no longer felt quite as oppressive or scary. It didn't make his chest tighten the way it had before. Harry knew it was because he knew he wasn't alone in this—before he'd always had Ron and Hermione by his side, but this wasn't an adventure they could have by his side.

Instead, though, he had Sirius. The one adult who wanted him, Harry. The one who'd offered him his own home and was now, at last, delivering. Harry felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest it beat so fast.

He was still smiling when he walked into the dining room.

With Sirius at his side, he knew he could face anything.

**Author's Note:**

> So this might be continued, it might not, depending on my motivation. In case I do not: basically, Harry is only expelled for the year, until the Ministry is forced to admit that Voldemort is indeed back and that they were wrong. Umbridge admits to the Dementors and Harry is pardoned, he gets to go back to Hogwarts for his sixth year - he studied at home for his fifth and the Ministry organized a special session for him to take his OWLs in the summer.
> 
> Unless I continue this, you may consider that anything else happens the way it does in canon or not.
> 
> I hope you liked reading this!


End file.
